I am a member of a Facebook group for mothers in Kenya and one day a lady wrote about losing her baby and how it was not a first loss. Others have since shared their loss stories as well.
In the comment section, other mothers offered their prayers and thoughts. And then came a few comments that mentioned hopes for a replacement. This made me squeamish.
I have been through loss. I lost my first baby, a son, and no one can ever replace his place in my life and heart. He has a name and will always be my husband’s and my first child. When asked how many kids I have, I do count him as one, to the shock of many.
I am now expecting another baby who is due in a couple of months, my rainbow baby. My rainbow baby is not a replacement for the baby that I lost last year. My rainbow baby is a sibling, not a replacement.
No matter how far along the pregnancy was for a mother or couple that has experienced loss, or how old the child was; whether they have a name or not, whether they have a grave or not, a baby existed to the mother or couple. That baby has a place in the life story and heart of an angel parent. No other baby can ever take his/her place.