adoption

3 Adopted kids and #StillAMum

1. Why did you adopt? What led to that decision?

We were seven years married and still no children. Friends and family members however did not seem to face this challenge and were bearing children both planned and unplanned ! In the seven years we visited various specialists for different procedures. By God’s grace we were able to get the very best care, although some of the procedures were cold and clinical and not the joyful experience that we had imagined making a baby would be! At one time I remember one of the specialists sharing the good and the bad news: there was nothing wrong with us and therefore there was nothing they could treat! In the meantime the clock was ticking and still – no baby.

By this time we were in our late twenties and we could feel the pressure from  friends and family beginning to mount. But somehow by God’s grace, even at that young age, we knew we could not afford to succumb to this pressure.  I instinctively knew that if I equated the ability to give birth with my womanhood or sense of God’s favor and blessing it would lead me down a path of despair and desperation and I did not want to go that way. My husband and I therefore chose the path of adoption.

2. How was the experience? What fears did you have before and during the adoption process?

It was not easy either. There was scant information at the time and I was also anxious about the process: what would our families say? Would they love our children as if they were biological? Would we bond with our children? And lastly would there be things in the children’s spiritual background that would affect them later in life?

Not wanting to let these questions dampen our resolve,  we embarked on a journey of discovering answers to this mythical process. We bought books on adoption, talked with friends who had undergone the process and even got a counselor friend to agree to hold a seminar for would-be adoptive parents at church. Some of our questions were answered and for the the ones that were not, we knew God wanted us to discover them as we journeyed with Him.

Fifteen years and three adopted children later, we have absolutely no regret about the journey God has taken us through! It has been a journey for everyone including our extended family.  I think some of them may have struggled at first although they were very gracious. We chose not to take it personally but rather pray for them in their journey with us. We also chose to be open with our children right from when they were babies about our adoption story. Our family narrative is one of joy at having the privilege of choosing our children!

One of my key lessons is, children are a gift from God but we cannot demand how this gift comes to us!

Author: stillamum

Wanjiru Kihusa is the Founder of Still A Mum. She is also a writer and speaker on child loss and rainbow motherhood.

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stillamum

Wanjiru Kihusa is the Founder of Still A Mum. She is also a writer and speaker on child loss and rainbow motherhood.

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17 Comments

  1. Francesca 1 year ago May 4, 2016

    I love the fact that this particular couple shared their story! I feel blessed and hopeful

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  2. Jacqui Lauber 1 year ago May 4, 2016

    One of my key lessons is, children are a gift from God but we cannot demand how this gift comes to us!…thanks Carol Wanjau for such profound words.

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  3. Kioi 1 year ago May 5, 2016

    Love this very inspiring.

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  4. Mish 1 year ago May 5, 2016

    Very inspiring story. Thank you sharing. #Stillamum

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  5. Pauline 1 year ago May 6, 2016

    This is so encouraging that you chose to stick together with your spouse and not bow to pressure. May God bless you as you raise those children and yes, they are a gift from God.

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  6. Randu 1 year ago May 6, 2016

    Wow, may God bless you and your family. I am inspired by your optimism, faith and trust in God.

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  7. Caroline 1 year ago May 8, 2016

    I know the Wanjaus being a member of Mavuno and having been their classmate in University. They are a true inspiration. I am also an adoptive parent and was a single mum of two adopted children long before I got married four years ago. Like the Wanjaus, I have no regrets. Children are a gift from God and yes I’m still a mum.

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    • Effie 1 year ago July 23, 2016

      You’ve encouraged me to go ahead with my plans for adopting

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  8. Anne 1 year ago May 24, 2016

    You are a very kind hearted woman and adopting those 3 children and giving them an identity is a great act. Just like Jesus chose to adopt us and give us identify. Where would we be without him, where would the kids be without you guys. Indeed we do not choose how a gift comes to us. It takes courage and a great heart to adopt. Be blessed and may the children live to their full potential.

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  9. Linda 1 year ago May 25, 2016

    inspiring, please remember to tell us the names of your interviewees or even caption the pictures. Your readers will relate well by knowing who they are reading about. Thanks.

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  10. Winnie Mandla 1 year ago May 25, 2016

    It’s amazing for sharing your story, Carol and Mureithi Wanjau. You have blessed so many and I’m glad you are together 15years later. You are a blessed couple and a blessed family.

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  11. Grace Wanunda 1 year ago July 3, 2016

    Wow! I have heard the Wanjau story and every time it bless my heart. I am a single and have adopted a baby girl. No regrets, adoption is the best thing that evet happened to me. Motherhood is awesome, quite fulfilling, its my prayer that every Christian should open their hearts to these needy kids by giving them a home and parental love as God adopted and loved us. I can adopt again!

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  12. ndemi 1 year ago July 4, 2016

    This is what humanity is all about.

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  13. Karuga John 1 year ago September 9, 2016

    Love the story…very inspiring

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  14. Polly 11 months ago November 3, 2016

    Comments*Inspiring. I really want to adopt a baby.

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  15. Emmah 3 months ago July 3, 2017

    this story has made my morning.. ..an adoptive mum is no less a mum…children are gifts from God but cannot demand how that gift comes to us…very strong and profound words..

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  16. Risper 3 months ago July 4, 2017

    Muriithi and Carol have been a blessing to me. They also adopted me for a while. I lived in their home for close to two years and was present when their first baby came home. She is my little sister. I have loved their perspective on life and learned many valuable lessons from them. Their children are lovely, very gifted people.

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